Archive | 4:50 pm

I am an idiot. Next week we’re having a little ha…

10 May

I am an idiot. Next week we’re having a little happy hour for Boss Lady as she’s leaving our group. I was responsible for sending out the email to our group. In an effort to make it cute and fun, I decided to add an animated clip art. Only after I sent it did I realize that one of the little cartoon chicks was rubbing her very pregnant belly.

Oops. . .

Adding Insult to Injury

10 May

Last night I went out to Happy Hour with a couple of friend that I hadn’t seen in awhile. Though I loathe and abhor Don Pablo’s with all my might, I made an appearance as we were celebrating a friend’s promotion. Sure, I went home smelling like a big fajita, tolerated their terrible service, and paid for their stupid food, but it was worth it-just for this story.

My girlfriend, NOP (sister to M who came up with that kick ass dating theory), was sharing a wonderfully touching story about her 8 month old puppy, Chewy. Typically, I tune out when kids tell me about their pets or their kids, but NOP has a way with stories. I believe that you too will be riveted by the experience that she went through, so I present to you the story of Chewy and NOP.

NOP has had Chewy for about 6 months now. Still being a puppy, Chewy finds a way to get his tiny little paws and sharp teeth on everything that he shouldn’t be touching. Just last weekend, he stumbled across NOP’s favorite black leather pumps. Now, when I say “stumbled upon” I mean he “shredded the left pump till there was nothing but the heel left.” When NOP found what Chewy had done, her eyes welled up with tears and she wept. They were, after all, her favorite heels, and would be expensive to replace.

NOP considered killing Chewy, but she thought that was a bit too drastic. She considered beating him severely, but dogs have short memories and at least an hour had gone by since the shoe had been consumed. He wouldn’t understand why he was being punished. NOP decided to let it go, she would just rage silently about her house and chastise herself and her boyfriend for letting him roam the house freely when he should have been kept in the crate.

2 hours pass, NOP’s rage is passing with the time. She and her boyfriend decide to visit a friend and take Chewy with them. Perhaps a trip out of the house will help Chewy work off some of his energy-he can just run freely in their friend’s fenced yard. They pile in the cabin of the pick up truck, and Chewy sits in the middle.

A few minutes into the ride, Chewy begins nuzzling up to NOP. She’s feeling better, the dog is clearly sorry for what he’s done, and wants some petting. She begins hugging and petting him, and talking to Chewy. Suddenly, Chewy throws up-all over NOP’s lap. Oh, now that’s bad enough, but what made it worse were the chunks of black leather from her favorite black pumps that were now sitting in her lap.

Bad dog. Very bad dog.