Archive | April, 2007

Guess who crawled under my desk yesterday? That’s…

25 Apr

Guess who crawled under my desk yesterday? That’s right, Lit’l Smokey. It was all under the pretext of getting something he had dropped under there, but we all know why he really wanted to get under my desk. My first instinct was to remain seated and let him crawl on down there and go to town, however, my desire to remain employed led me to another decision. Though I got up out of my seat, I stayed close by.

One of the head honchos walked by and saw him under my desk. She was coming out of her office, and did a double take.

HH: What the hell is he doing down there?
CS: He dropped something and is looking for it?
HH: That just does not look right.
CS: I hear ya. At least I didn’t stay in my seat.
HH: Definitely something you don’t see anyday.
CS: Indeed.
HH found that to be very amusing.

During this exchange, there were random musings from Lit’l Smokey (It’s dirty down here. What should I do with this box?). I had to keep telling myself not to laugh. He said “box”. I’m totally 12 years old.

Bartles and Jaymes

25 Apr

I have a new term for bj: Bartles & Jaymes. Below are examples of the correct and incorrect usage:

  • Correct: He begged and begged for a Bartles & Jaymes, but I refused to give him one until he gave me a cookie.

  • Incorrect: I can’t think of anything! Use it freely and enjoy!

Protected: My Friend the Rockstar

24 Apr

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Yet Another Meeting with Destiny

24 Apr

Things just get better and better. As if it’s not enough to sit across from Lit’l Smokey, I just found out that the other hot new guy in my Department (he’s down in our Florida office), will be up here for a few days next week. Oh, yes, that’s good-but it gets better. Ten minutes ago I received an email from my boss asking me if I had time to meet with the hot new guy. HELL YES! I’ve set up a breakfast meeting for next Tuesday. In attendance will be the hot new guy, Lit’l Smokey, the new girl (DJ), and me. I CAN’T WAIT!!

The new guy has the most hypnotic eyes I’ve ever seen. I first met him about 2 years ago when he was in one of my training classes. A year later, he was in another one of my classes. I was in the middle of a riveting monologue about the virtues of a new system when I looked into those dreamy eyes and totally blanked-in front of the entire class.

He’s hot, has dreamy eyes, and I want him. He will henceforth be known as: Dreamy Eyes.

Things Lit’l Smokey Says to Me that Make Me Blush

24 Apr

“No, you do it. I like it when you do it.”

This morning, while on the way to an emergency app…

23 Apr

This morning, while on the way to an emergency appointment with the vet, I received a call from Boss Lady. I had left her a message letting her know that my St. Bernard, Sebastian, was sick and I had to take him to see the vet. She called to check in on me, and then she dropped a big old bombshell in my lap: Boss Lady is leaving. She told me today that she’s moving on to another job at the company. That leaves her position open. I’ve never been interested in a management position, there’s far too much bull shitting and politicking for me. Frankly, it makes my stomach turn just to think about it. This position, however, is tempting to me. For if I was hired, guess who would be reporting to me? That’s right, Lit’l Smokey!

Dirty office debauchery with a direct report! How hot would that be??

I’m not sure what to make of this, but Lit’l Smoke…

20 Apr

I’m not sure what to make of this, but Lit’l Smokey and I just spent 20 minutes reviewing The Night Before Christmas. He was trying to prove that he had memorized the bulk of it. He hadn’t, I proved him wrong.

Clearly this means he wants me.