Hot and Spicy

22 Mar

On Tuesday I wrote about my new crush, Shorty, that started in my department. In the last three days, it’s come to my attention that he totally wants me. Take the following as evidence of his desire to get with me:

  1. He didn’t stare down my shirt. This is a major accomplishment as I wore an EXTREMELY low cut blouse yesterday and made sure to wear a red push up bra underneath. He didn’t look, not once. Now, I know that some of you are probably thinking that he’s gay or just not interested, but you’re wrong. His not looking at my smoking rack clearly indicates that he was exercising extreme control and that he had to talk himself out of looking.
  2. He left his computer unlocked every single time he walked away from his desk. I have this nasty little habit of messing with peoples’ computers if they don’t lock them when they walk them away. This could include flipping the screen upside down (ctrl, alt, and down arrow at the same time), changing the background, adding a brand new screen saver, or sending phony appointments. He’s well aware of this as I flipped his screen at least 10 times on Monday, and yet, he still “forgets” to lock it. This is an indicator that he likes that he’ll have to come back and “scold” me when he returns to his desk. As a matter of fact, yesterday when he wandered away from his desk, he told me all about how he’d been thinking about me (or really what I would have done to his computer) while he was in his meeting. He totally wants me.
  3. Shorty is very much into music. He studied music in college, plays all sorts of instruments, mixes his own music and blah, blah, blah. I had been bombarding him with questions on Tuesday, so Wednesday he brought in a CD with some samples of his music. He wrote the lyrics to all the songs and sings 2 of them. Track 2 is dirty-to say the list. Let’s take a looky loo at some of the lyrics: I never met her/she’s the girl of my dreams/when she looked at me yeah/I wanted to cream/I want to touch you/just want to feel you/from the inside out/don’t want to hurt you baby/but I will if you want me to/I’ll do what you want me to do. I blushed when I heard the lyrics. Up to that point, I just thought that he was a nice young man. He seriously looks like someone who could just up and join the priesthood (and I don’t mean that he looks like a child molester). Shorty just seems to have an innocence about him. In the midst of listening to the song, he mentioned how it was more risqué than the other ones. I asked him who the inspiration for the song was, and he said lots of women. Clearly, he didn’t want me to feel uncomfortable by revealing that I was the inspiration.

Conclusion: He totally wants me. Furthermore, Shorty will now be known as Lit’l Smokey because he’s tiny and hot.

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9 Responses to “Hot and Spicy”

  1. 5 of 9er March 22, 2007 at 2:58 pm #

    I once dated a girl who had small hands and she referred to her fingers as “Little Smokies.” Hope your new boy toy is not gay… and if he is, you have a new shopping buddy!

  2. CATHERINETTE SINGLETON March 22, 2007 at 3:01 pm #

    HE’S NOT GAY!! He can’t be gay, I simply won’t allow it.

    I work with a guy who has fingers look like Jimmy Dean sausage links. We call him sausage fingers.

  3. Mister Underhill March 22, 2007 at 5:03 pm #

    “I thought about you during a meeting”? Sounds like he is about to propose marriage.

    I wish I had the type of jobs where there were ever members of the opposite sex working with me to have crushes on.

  4. Grant Miller March 22, 2007 at 7:22 pm #

    It would be shameful for a red push-up bra like that to go to waste.

  5. CATHERINETTE SINGLETON March 22, 2007 at 8:15 pm #

    RIGHT?? That’s what I was thinking. Thankfully it didn’t go to waste-there were others that appreciated it.

  6. The Ambiguous Blob March 22, 2007 at 10:26 pm #

    I really love it when a man talks dirty. That’s freaking hot.
    Also, the screen trick totally didn’t work for me. Bummer.

  7. Charm School Reject March 24, 2007 at 1:59 am #

    Yeah. We can safely conclude that either a) He’s gay. b) He totally wants you. On the inside, I’m thinking total flamer but on this blog comment I’m just gonna say “oh girl, he totally wants you!” (I really don’t talk like that, btw).

  8. CATHERINETTE SINGLETON March 25, 2007 at 6:22 pm #

    He does want me! He just has to. I refuse to accept he’s gay, even if he introduces me to his girlfriend and her name is “Stephen”. That would be short for Stephanie, right?

  9. Penny Lane June 10, 2008 at 5:22 pm #

    couldn’t help turning the screen upside down when i read it hahahah
    god, i’m so predictable…

    You need to do that trick for friends and family. They go nuts, it’s the best. -CS

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