Archive | 10:32 pm

Jack Ass Strikes Again

5 Mar

The department in which I work is made up of approximately 90% women. Of the men in the department, most of them are normal decent men-with the exception of one. My friends and I call him Jack, that’s short for Jack Ass. It our firm belief that he was dropped on his head as a child, and spent the better part of his youth sniffing glue-there’s nothing else that can explain his sheer stupidity. By a wicked twist of fate, the douche bag happens to sit directly behind me. I’ve come up with a very effective method of avoiding him-wearing my headphones at all times. Half the time I’m only pretending to listen to music, he’ll ask me a question and I’ll just totally ignore him. Sometimes this backfires as he ends up standing next to me, looking over my shoulder at my computer screen until I pay attention to him. It’s great times.

Jack has some incredible skills you should know about: asking incredibly stupid questions, not listening and then asking a question that has just been answered, and saying inappropriate things. Saying completely tasteless and offensive things at the wrong time is a skill he’s honed into a fine craft. He is the master. He’s also what I would describe as socially retarded.

Anyhow, today we were in a conference call, and he decided to charm us all with his inappropriate humor. We had a guest speaker come in to discuss a conference she had recently attended, and she was highlighting a business that staffs the majority of their employees in India. She continued on to discuss how they were experiencing a lot of turnover in the organization. Without skipping a beat, Jack jumps in with, “Of course they are, they only pay them twenty cents an hour.” This comment was met by dead silence and blank stares.

God, he sucks.