Life in Your 30’s: Myths Dispelled

22 Feb

There are things that people never tell you as you grow up. Things that you believe will change in your life once you reach your 30’s. We’ll I’m here to straighten you out.

You’ll stop breaking out.
Is there a point when they ever stop? I look nothing like a teenager, and yet my face likes to pretend like I’m still 15. It insists on providing me with a nice pimple from time to time-preferably when I’m going to be around someone that I have a crush on or in some extremely important meeting. Aren’t the hormone levels in my body supposed to change at some point? Do I have to wait until I go through menopause to have clear skin?

There will be no random hook-ups.
When I was younger, I thought that “older” people had a better hold on their hormones. In my mind, they would be able to think ahead, see what was coming, and then talk themselves out of doing it. Self respect and self control, I thought these would come with age. Apparently not. We all seem to experience the same rush that any high schooler or college kid would-only now there’s an incredible sense of desperation. It’s the “I might as well get it when I can” feeling. Let me tell you, it’s a “fabulous” feeling.

As you age, you’re better able to hold your liquor and won’t get hungover.
Lies, complete and total lies. About 7 years ago, I started experiencing this awful new thing: waking up drunk. That has to be one of the world’s worst feelings-especially if I have to spend time with the family or go to work during the day. It gets even “better” when the hangover hits about 2:00 in the afternoon. When I was in college, my hangover would consist of a minor headache. Nowadays, it consists of me enjoying one of the following: the desire to throw myself down the stairs to put myself out of my misery, wishing the waves of nausea would end so I could just die in peace, or having a panic attack in my bed because I know I’m going to puke again.

You’ll have better control of your finances.
Okay, so maybe some people do. I, however, still wonder how $50,000 a year isn’t enough to pay mortgage, electricity, gas, phone, cable, car payment, insurance, credit card payments, and entertainment expenses. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I’d prefer to go out to some fancy restaurant than to pay my phone bill. Those late charges really add up.

You’ll have a family of your own.
Guess what? That knock on my door at the age of 30, you know the one with the instant husband and kids, seems to have stopped by when I wasn’t home. When I was younger I would have sworn on anything that I’d be married with kids by the time I was 25. When I was 25, I was convinced that it would happen by the time I was 30. At 30, I was thinking maybe 33 would be for me. Now at 33, I’m thinking that maybe 40 will work out. Wonder at which point one stops hoping for this?

I’m very much looking forward to what my 40’s will bring. And when I say that “I’m looking forward” to it, I mean I’m totally dreading every second.

11 Responses to “Life in Your 30’s: Myths Dispelled”

  1. The Ambiguous Blob February 22, 2007 at 9:16 pm #

    I’ll be turning 30 this year. There is a biological clock ticking and I think I must wear this thing on my forehead. I’m having “must breed” moments about once every hour and yes, I still get pimples.
    My hangover yesterday was pretty awful, but a couple of excedrin and some greasy breakfast cleared it up by the afternoon.
    I can only imagine what the next few years will bring.

  2. CATHERINETTE SINGLETON February 22, 2007 at 9:34 pm #

    Trust me on this one, it’s all down hill. And the ticking of that biological clock gets loud enough that others start hearing it too.

  3. Carrie M February 22, 2007 at 9:56 pm #

    no amount of skincare or spot treatment seems to help the occasional breakout? yeah, me neither.

    as for the hook ups, at least we’re old enough to call a spade a spade. and then not feel guilty about it and wonder if he’ll call.

  4. Oestre-Bunny February 22, 2007 at 11:45 pm #

    god spots, i hate them. there should be an age where it stops. i’m thinking 22…. I’m too old for spots!

  5. Miss Scarlet February 23, 2007 at 1:04 am #

    Hmm, I just turned 27, which was the year I always thought I’d get married. I guess I have 12 months…

  6. Bella February 23, 2007 at 5:57 pm #

    This post rang so true! The pimples thing kills me!! And waking up drunk sucks – I had that happen to me last week. And I didn’t even drink that much, I swear. Or, I didn’t *remember* drinking that much, anyway…

    So far I haven’t had any biological clock ticks. I’m not too interested in being anyone’s mom. I can barely keep my own life together at this point. Maybe that’ll change when I meet “Him,” but for now, no kids. I love being an auntie, but no mommy business for me.

    Love your blog. Thanks for putting me on the blogroll. You’re on mine too now.

  7. lulu February 23, 2007 at 7:44 pm #

    I’m 42, I still get spots. And wrinkles! Life is fucking unfair.

    My 40s have rocked so far, as much better as my 30s were than my 20s, my 40s have been than my 30s.

  8. Miss Nines February 23, 2007 at 8:36 pm #

    So… I’ve done the wake up drunk/hung over around 2 thing a couple times now.

    I’m only 22. Should I be worried or proud?

  9. Blubu June 20, 2008 at 5:48 am #

    I’m in my late twenties and i’m loving life, i know that it gets better each moment…i have goals, beauty and wealth on my side…still thinking about my career, so i’m dwindling on every exciting job i get.

    I’m married, pregnant and glowing…i made a concious decision that i will be married and i am!

    i still get pimples, i drink myself silly and my money sometimes runs out but i love life…that’s life. So kiss your pimples, greet the hangover with a lovely bath, candles, juice and a full dress up show…when money runs out, smile and think about eating fruits and veges…so inexpensive.

    It’s all how you see it, ladies…enjoy…it’s that easy…sorry i cannot share in your misery!

    Come on, now, we all know misery loves company. As good as my life is, it’s always fun to complain and gripe from time to time. 🙂 -CS

  10. Jane Goody April 24, 2009 at 5:29 am #

    The topic is quite hot in the net at the moment. What do you pay attention to while choosing what to write about?

  11. 52 Faces August 20, 2010 at 2:56 pm #

    Ah thank you! I just passed my 30th bday, ungracefully and in a panic. These points are so true so true!

    I too have heard that women love their 40’s these days…

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