Okay, so let’s take an informal poll here (plop your answers in the comments):

1. When you ask someone, “How do I look in this?” do you really want them to tell you if what you’re wearing is unflattering and accentuates all your fat rolls?
2. If you’re asked the above question, do you tell the truth, or are you the type of person that says something looks nice even when it doesn’t?

I want to know what people think before I get into the “discussion” that my mother and I had about some fashion “choices” that were made today.

Once again my sister has the remote control.  Thankfully, today I’m not being forced to watch “House Hunters”.  Instead, she’s decided that tonight we should watch “NYC Prep”.

It’s like the real version of “Gossip Girl”.  Oh, wait, or the NYC version of “Laguna Beach”.  It’s freaking awful.  I’ve just spent the last 5 minutes watching 3 girls (all around 16 and under) discussing how they’ve all been out with this one dude.  Apparently, if you’re a rich girl that lives in NYC you’re drawn to total f’ing tools.  The guy seriously spent more time flipping his hair during one date than all of the girls combined one the show.

Oh, sweet.  Since she can’t stand commercials we’re now watching some retarded exposes on Michael Jackson.

If she doesn’t stop soon, I’m going to wrestle the remote out of her hand and beat her with it.

I’m a sucker for a funny man.  What woman isn’t?  I’m not confessing that I have a mad crush on Larry the Cable Guy or Jeff Foxworthy (or whatever the hell that dude’s name is).  I don’t do well with that whole WT genre.  F that, I totally pass.

I do, however, find myself drawn to men that have a more developed sense of humor.  Dudes like Steve Martin (who rocks the white hair), and even Billy Murray (a teeny tiny bit).  But my favorite one of all, has got to be Chevy Chase.

Come on!  The dude is a comedic genius.  And sure his talk show never panned out, but man, is the dude HILARIOUS in Fletch.  That has to be one of my all time favorite movies.  I could easily sit down and watch that movie over and over again.  I will admit that the haircut that he’s sported all of these years hasn’t necessarily been the most fashionable (unless you happen to be a little Dutch boy), but still, I’d do him.

In the last three months, there has been a huge increase in people finding this blog by using a search term that disturbs me.  It’s worse than pooping trannies, pooping on someone, golden showers, etc. 

There are people out there that are actually looking for information about “Steve Buscemi”.  Just one post about how he grosses me out is enough to get 320 hits for people doing a search on his name.  Here’s my question: why?  No, seriously, why would anyone want to do a search for Steve Buscemi?

I mean, he’s a good actor and all, but really?  Steve Buscemi?

Different strokes, I guess…

This morning at 7:15, Damien and Lucy(fer) burst through my bedroom door.  Next year, remind me to take one of the rooms with a door lock when we go on vacation.  I groggily asked them who they hell they thought they were and that’s when Damien excitedly announced that the toilet had just thrown up.

• Catherinette: What?
• Damien:  The toilet throwed up!
• Catherinette: What do you mean?
• Damien: It spit water up into the air and it went all over the place!!

I have never seen anyone seen so excited over an overflowing toilet.  Not even a plumber that knows that he’s going to ass rape you when he overcharges you for cleaning up the mess you made.  I politely responded to Damien then threw him out of my room and told him to come back in 2 hours.  It’s a pain in the ass that the kids can’t tell time because he thought “2 hours” meant “15 minutes”.

As it turns out, my sister and brother-in-law had had quite the adventure that morning.  After stopping up the toilet, my sister enlisted the help of her hubcap to help her “fix” the toilet.  He went after it with a plunger and the toilet was not pleased.  It was so angry, in fact, that it literally spewed water straight up into the air and all over the floor.  Both he and my sister were covered in poo water.  Frankly, I’m surprised I didn’t hear a string of obscenities when this all went down.  Perhaps they were both too shocked to respond in that way.

My sister told me the whole story after I finally dragged myself out of bed.  When asked about the whole debacle my brother-in-law’s response was, “I don’t want to talk about it.  I just want to forget the whole thing ever happened.”

Hey, we’ve all been there.  But I’m pretty sure that for most of us what we’re trying to forget doesn’t involve getting showered in poo water.  At least, I hope that’s the case.

Posted in Damien, family, gross, Lucy(fer), travel ]]> http://catherinette.wordpress.com/2009/06/29/when-good-toilets-go-bad/feed/ 5 Catherinette http://catherinette.wordpress.com/2009/06/28/oh-my-god/ http://catherinette.wordpress.com/2009/06/28/oh-my-god/#comments Sun, 28 Jun 2009 19:48:42 +0000 Catherinette http://catherinette.wordpress.com/?p=2600 ]]>

Oh my God!

Oh my God!

Oh my God!

Oh my God!

Please tell me that you watched the latest episode of “Harper’s Island”!!  If you don’t watch the show, I’m going to need to know why.  Explain yourself!!  You have no excuse.  They have all the episodes on CBS, TV.com, and Netflix.  Go, catch up.  If you do watch the show and haven’t seen the latest episode (number 11), I suggest you stop reading right this very second.

Oh my God!  So freaking good.  Seriously, please tell me that you watched it so that we can discuss poor Cal and Chloe.  I actually believed that they would make it off of the island.  How lame is it that I yelled “No!” and then started weeping when it all happened?  Then I had to explain myself to my sister who happened to walk in the room at that exact moment.  I told her I was watching the show and she just said, “You are so lame,” and then walked out of the room.  You know what?  She’s the lame one!!  She doesn’t watch the show because she says it’s too scary.  The scary thing is that she’s missing out on some high quality programming.

And know what else?  I’ve said all along that Jimmy (recently featured on JTT) was involved.  I am SO right!  There’s no way that he would have cheated death TWICE and not have something to do with it.  He did it!!  He’s Wakefield’s kid, which also makes him Abby’s brother, which also means that they are gross because they made out.  Yuck.  Incest is so gross.

Oh my God!

Catherinette goes for a ferry ride.  Claude prefers to ride a fairy.

I know, I know.  I’ve been slacking with my JTT duties lately.  I’m sorry.  Okay??  Get off my back already! (twss)

Before we go any further with today’s posting, I want sent something straight: I am not a scifi geek.  I never watch Star Trek, I’m not gay for The Next Generation (like Foxy is), I never saw a single episode of the new Battlestar Galactica series, and not once in my life have I watched Firefly.  I’ve heard all of the buzz about Firefly but whatever, it takes place in space so that automatically makes me not want to watch it.

Last night, however, I did tune in to watch an episode of Castle (starring the same dude from Firefly).  I debated with myself (since there’s no one else around) as to whether or not I should subject myself to a show that stars a guy from a scifi show. 

Thank the Lord in heaven I did, because Nathan Fillion is fine.  In fact, is scifine (wow, that was really bad):

He is so fine, in fact, that I might have to reconsider watching Firefly.

You know those little meme’s that go out via email that ask you to answer questions about yourself?  Well, Jewcy Bits just sent me one.  For your viewing pleasure, here are the responses.

(I’m not going to tag anyone, but feel free to steal it and post it on your own blog)

Here is the new 2009 edition of getting to know your family and friends. Here is what you are supposed to do, and try not to be lame and spoil the fun. Change all the answers so that they apply to you. Then send this to a bunch of people you know, INCLUDING the person who sent it to you.

Some of you may get this several times; that means you have lots of friends. The easiest way to do it is to hit ‘forward’ so you can change the answers or copy and paste. Have fun and be truthful!

1. What is your occupation right now?
2. What color are your sock s right now? Socks??  It’s summer.  Fuck sucks.
3. What are you listening to right now? Jack Ass boring someone with a story about his dog.
4. What was the last thing that you ate?  My feelings.
5. Can you drive a stick shift?  Yes I can, as long as you don’t mind hearing the gears grinding.
6. Last person you spoke to on the phone?  Your mom.
7. Do you like the person who sent this to you?  Yes, I do.  She lends me movies, like “Ass Painters”.
8. How old are you today?  Old enough to know better.
9. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV?  Do dating shows count as a sport?
10. What is your favorite drink?  Anything with booze in it.
11. Have you ever dyed your hair?  Of course I have.  I’m a chick.
12. Favorite food?  Hmm…far too many choices for this one.
13. What is the last movie you watched?  See response for question #7.
14. Favorite day of the year?  Same as everyone’s favorite day of the year, my birthday.
15. How do you vent anger?  I don’t vent my anger, I eat it.
16. What was your favorite toy as a child?  Barbie.  Oh how I longed to be Barbie.
17. What is your favorite season?  Mating season.
18. Cherries or Blueberries?  Both.
19. Do you want your friends to e-mail you back?  Only if they’re inviting me to dinner or offering to send me money.
20. Who is the most likely to respond?  Certainly not Ryan Reynolds as he never responds to me. 
21. Who is least likely to respond?  Your mom.
22. Living arrangements?  A delightful 4 bedroom Cape Cod in Baltimore suburbs.
23. When was the last time you cried?  Last night after I watched that movie mentioned in question #7. 
24. What is on the floor of your closet?  Your mom.
25. Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending to?
    Perez Hilton.
26. What did you do last night?  Celebrated Father’s Day – with your dad.
27. What are you most afraid of?  That the peen counter won’t be reset anytime soon.  Gives me nightmares.
28. Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers?  What the fuck is a spicy hamburger?
29. Favorite dog breed?  How about least favorite?  I don’t like greyhounds.
30. Favorite day of the week?  Saturday.
31. How many states have you lived in?  5.  Unless you count “anxiety” as a state, in which case I’ve lived in 6.
32. Diamonds or pearls?  Both together.  So beautiful.
33. What is your favorite flower?  Daisy (of Love)