High or Low, They’re Still Standards

13 Nov

Sure I dated someone who had horse teeth.  And maybe I made out with a dude who had a girlfriend (but his body was AMAZING and he was 9 years younger).  And yes, there was even a dude with a lot of back hair who sweat a lot and was dumber than a box of rocks.  But I have standards.  They may be low, but I’ve still got them.

No matter how old, or lonely, or desperate I get, I will never ever ever EVER ever EVER ever ever date any of the following:

  • Men who own jorts (jean shorts)
  • Men who wear hunting gear as a fashion statement
  • Anyone who looks like he belongs on “Jersey Shore”
  • Dudes with Fu-manchu mustaches
  • Dudes with any mustaches (even if it’s Movember)
  • Men who look like they squeezed themselves into a size smedium (that’s small/medium) t-shirt when they need an XL
  • Dudes who take shirtless pictures of themselves in the bathroom mirror at work (3D doesn’t count.  We were already dating when he started doing that)
  • Anyone who has a sick obsession with cats, Star Trek, or Valerie Bertinelli

I’d rather be single forever than deal with any of those dudes.

 

About these ads

7 Responses to “High or Low, They’re Still Standards”

  1. jpwilks November 13, 2012 at 6:57 pm #

    What about men with beards during Movember?

    • Catherinette November 13, 2012 at 7:01 pm #

      Beards are fine. A lonely mustache is not…

    • jpwilks November 13, 2012 at 7:03 pm #

      Whew! I thought I was gonna have to shave early.

  2. amadeo78 November 13, 2012 at 7:11 pm #

    So a Star Wars obsession is okay? I would take exception to the mustache, but I figure if you have facial hair why not at least go for a full goatee.

  3. americanbridget November 13, 2012 at 7:13 pm #

    Great list, could not agree more. And pictures in front of the mirror are just stupid…especially in the men’s room at work. Unreal.

  4. ron December 11, 2012 at 12:27 pm #

    we miss your posts.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,101 other followers

%d bloggers like this: