There’s nothing like going out on Halloween and enjoying the many sites that Baltimore has to offer.
Some people went ALL out on the costumes this year. For example, there was the slutty sailor, slutty Harry Potter chick, slutty nurse, slutty pirate, slutty student, slutty slut, slutty Octomom, and even the slutty green crayon. Ladies, ladies, ladies, what ever happened to self respect?
A slutty green crayon? Really? Yes, it’s true. And she was HAMMERED and saying all sorts of indecent things in the elevator. She even used the n word and then her friend started singing about how she was an n lover. I’ve seen a lot of drunk people in my life, but the slutty green crayon and her friends were easily the dumbest drunk people I have ever seen. Ever.
Then you have the chicks that think they look hot in their slutty costumes and they actually make your eyes bleed. Take “France” for example.
- Check out all my fat rolls!
Clearly this girl’s “friends” hate her or else they would have encouraged her to wear something more flattering. It’s clear this girl needs some help from Operation Muffin Top(ple).
Oh! Wait! It gets better. On the way to the concer that we went to on Halloween night, Jewcy Bits and I saw some dude taking a dump in the parking garage. So klassy!! YEAH! There were some drunk assholes at the concert, and I was pretty sure that Lola and Jewcy Bits were going to start throwing elbows and splitting some bitch lips. Thankfully, we were able to leave the concert without causing any damage – aside from what we did to our livers.
Now, what you’ve all been waiting for: a picture of me and Jewcy Bits together! Your dreams are about to come true…
- To see more of these whores, look for them outside the Canton Safeway…by the dumpsters.
And yes, I did get motorboated that night. By one of my girlfriends that took pity on me.
Filed under: Dirty Ruddy Sailor, Jewcy Bits, Lola, boozy suzy
Nice cans!
I like to think so.
-CS
What’s the n-word? I’ve been thinking about it for a REALLY long time now, like at least 45 seconds, and I can’t figure it out. the f word, the c word is clear to me. N? N…ipples? (a) N..al? N…. uhm.
Oh, Wynn, you’re so naive. THE n word is a VERY derogatory word for African Americans. I am a very liberal person with a dirty mouth and even I don’t use that word. -CS
Love the shirt. Please tell me there is a place I can buy one.
I’d be happy to! You can find one at Breastfest.org. The shirts run kind of small. I love mine! -CS
I’m always astounded by the people who don’t recognize what they look like. How could Frenchie think that was flattering?
Lord only knows. Her outfit was more fattering than flattering. -CS
Aw thanks for mentioning my costume, slutty Harry Potter girl, so sweet of you. Although everyone was way more interested in the wooden wand I had!
Don’t forget that after dropping the “N” bomb, friend of the Slutty Crayon began singing her self-penned song about how much she loves African-Americans. It was very klassy. Especially in the inner city.
I believe I will be crafting a Jewcy Guide to not looking like an asshat on Halloween next year.
[...] and believe me I saw everything from a slutty farmer to the “slutty green crayon” Catherinette mentioned in her account of this evening – here are some general guidelines to follow when picking next year’s Halloween [...]