Okay, so let’s take an informal poll here (plop your answers in the comments):
- When you ask someone, “How do I look in this?” do you really want them to tell you if what you’re wearing is unflattering and accentuates all your fat rolls?
- If you’re asked the above question, do you tell the truth, or are you the type of person that says something looks nice even when it doesn’t?
I want to know what people think before I get into the “discussion” that my mother and I had about some fashion “choices” that were made today.
Filed under: just a thought
I think if your friends let you leave dressed horribly or mismatched or fat rolls showing they aren’t very good friends.
Men are off the hook on this question within the context of a relationship – it’s a no win question. But girlfriends/family members should be able to tell you if what you are trying on or about to leave the house in is unflattering. They don’t have to go into detail about your fat rolls, however. That’s just mean.
Always tell the truth. Always desire the truth when asking. Or else what’s the point?
If I ask anyone, including a guy if we are in a relationship, I want an honest, but not mean, answer. It would suffice to say “I think your black skirt with the flower looks better” or “I don’t know if that’s something I’d wear to (insert place you are going)”…. there are ways to tell someone that they really shouldn’t wear an item or outfit without being hurtful.
If I ask, it’s because I wanna know the truth, not some bullshit, because sure as shit, I’ll encounter some rude asshole out there who won’t be so censored with their words.
If someone asks me, I try to be honest but in the nicest way possible. Of course, sometimes it’s hard to hide the snicker, as I’ve got a terrible poker face!
I think it totally depends on how good of friends you are. If you are asking someone, and they’re really your friend, you should totally be asking for the truth. HOWEVER, my sister asked me this just the other day, and I told her the truth.. and I still feel bad for hurting her feelings. So I don’t know which is right exactly. Maybe don’t ask – if you have to ask, don’t wear it.
I’d just turn it around on to me somehow.
“Well hmm. Say, can you see my bulge enough in these pants or what?”
I suppose in your case you would substitute my words with some other words.
truth, always truth…and usually i tell friends if i don’t like what they’re wearing before they ask.
Case in point i went to a wedding 2 weekends ago and as i was doing the bride’s make-up met my other friends in the local (to the bride) pub to go to church together. Walked in, sat down, looked at my friend and said “that tie clashes with that shirt you know”
Awesome me!
I always expect the truth and I always tell the truth when I get questions from the partner. Except for the whole “Is that the guy you were interested in that time ago?” which kinda happened to be a no, when it really was a yes. Hopefully he wont remember so I can tell the truth if he asks again.
Other than that, I want to hear if my ass looks like a square without shape, instead of “it’s great honey”. Come on please, it’s mean to lie and let me out of the house. If I’m asking, I’m wondering. And people will get a “Hmm, well.. your ass disappears in them” or “gets a funny shape” etc etc. All for you honey!
If someone asks I tell them the truth, in a nice way of course and I expect the truth when I am asking.
I hate when someone says,,,,”Do I look Fat in this?” I never asked that question, well maybe to my hub but that is it!!
I think you should always comment if it looks bad. If it’s just not your taste then you should keep your mouth shut. Or a nice way to get around it is to direct them to something else, like “you know what you look awesome in, the….”. Let them infer whatever they want from the comment.
If I were shopping (as your title suggests) I absolutely would want the truth so I didn’t waste my money on an unwise purchase.
Otherwise, I would never ask that question of someone. I am fairly self-critical of my appearance so it is highly unlikely I would be experimenting with clothes that I felt were suspect. Besides, I have a mirror that shows me the truth – be it good or awful.
I might well ask if an outfit was suitable for the occasion/location but that is a different matter.
Your follow-up post is going to be interesting I’m thinking.
Cheers
Just once answer that type of question with;
“If it were a size 16 instead of a size 8 it would look fine”.
You will never be put in that no win situation again !
Mmm… I say if it’s asked or answered, tell the truth or some shade of it.
Usually if someone asks me something like this, I might not say “you can see every dimple on your ass” unless they have it coming, but I probably *would* say “Hmm, I don’t think it fits you right about the hips.”
And if I’m asking, which I only do if I really have no clue and that’s not very often, I expect the same. Usually I let the mirror tell me and take the ugly truth as I see it, but then again I trust my own sartorial taste.
The truth, gently if need be.
1. I want the truth…but nicely. Not a whole novel on how it accentuates my fat rolls. Just tell me it’s not very flattering to my figure and lets move on!
2. I will tell you the truth and nicely…then maybe suggest something about the outfit that I DO like and maybe we could find something similar but more flattering?
I always want to know the truth. I used to only go shopping with my gay male freinds or my younger brother who is straight but has better fashion sense than most women I know and is my kid brother so he doesn’t care if he hurts my feelings lol. I used to look so stylish. =) (not so much anymore since I look like some soccor mom.. note to self to work on that) I tell people ” I don’t think that look is really you. Lets see what we can find.” But then my daughter and I are hooked on TLC’s What Not To Wear too.
I tell the truth, because I want my friends to be honest with me. and you do not need to be rude to be honest, there are ways to be nice about it. I sometimes see women in the street, and I am like…”she needs a friend to tell her not to do that to herself!”
If it’s a really good friend I will be honest.
I never ask how i look in something.
Whenever someone asks me how they look, i always tell them the truth. There’d be no point in lying, would there.
if i’m in a dressing room and thinking of buying, then i want to know the truth, otherwise i am wasting my cash. also if i am trying a new combinations i generally want to know the truth as well.
if it’s an old favourite i just want a compliment and an ego boost
Location is key. I only want to know the harsh truth if I can do something about it before I need to be wherever I’m going!
if its some one i care about….then I go with the “truth”. even if the answer is, it doesn’t look good. that can be said in a sensitive way. of course, if its some one i really care about then “truth” is totaly jaded by love + lust so my opinon may not be worth much.