I Can’t Believe He’s Still Single

There are countless joys to online dating.  For example, the people that don’t bother reading your profile that end up stalking you even though you have exactly nothing in common. 

Or the people that don’t bother adding pictures to their profiles because they have an extra arm and no front teeth. 

Or, my favorite, those individuals that decide that spelling and grammar are just not going to help them find their mate. 

Well, my friends, today I found the absolute worst profile.  Really, it’s a doozy.  You can, of course, guess what I have done.  That’s right, kids, I went ahead and copied the whole entire thing.  Not a single word has been changed-not one, though I did go ahead and add a comment or two (or eight):

Self Summary: I know Im not much to look at.  (Great way to start out.  I can only imagine what he may have originally started with, “Look away!  I’m hideous!”) I think of my self as an ugly duckling. Which means I am great inside. Also I am what you call Obese. (Wow, can we say TMI? Really.  What’s next?  He suffers from irritable bowel syndrome and likes to spank it to pictures of women with horses) (But I am tring to fix that) If you are looking for a man who trusting, a non mind game player (I guarantee this guy plays games, like Magic the Gathering and World of Warcraft), and a loving person than look no farther. I my have some problems but I make up with my love and fun additude. Also I would like to say that I am a very shy person when it comes to talking to the opposite sex. Once I get to know you then I can say what ever. If you are looking for someone that is true and loving then that’s me. I want someone who is true and to feel the same as I do. I have a lot of love to give. I also need someone to care enough to help me to better my self. I know I would be true, loving, respectful and helpful. I am looking for a partner in life (all of it).

What I’m Doing with My Life: Right now I just watch TV and play on my computer. (Let the good times roll!  Does this guy have a job to sustain such incredibly adventurous interests, or are mom and dad still footing the bill for all of this?)

My favorite books, movies, music and food: I really don’t read that much.. I really like Sci-fi Movies (SHOCKER!)and tv. I also like good action flicks. Music I like just about any thing. As far as food I a meat man (Special diet). Don’t get me wrong I like other food and some times cheat…. (He cheats on his diet?  How surprising!)

You’ll be both shocked and surprised that a catch such as this is quite single.  Ladies, if you’re interested let me know and I can get you his user name.  Act fact because a stud like this will be snatched up in no time at all!

Click here because you know you’re dying to see what a hotty catch like this looks like.  I have 3 words to describe him: pale beached whale.