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    Grab a cocktail, sit back, relax, and enjoy the riveting stories of the Jack Ass coworker, thankless job, pathetic attempts at dating, and other equally riveting musings.

    Just read it. Come on, you know you want to. . .

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    • I Hope Douche Baggery Skips a Generation
      Don’t forget to update your blogrolls and replace The Catherinette Chronicles with Bridget Jones Has Nothing on Me. My dad is a douche bag. A big old dirty douche bag. He pretty much walked out the door when my sister and I were little. We could always rely on his unreliability. He would come and go [...]
    • Looking for that Open Door
      They say when one door closes another one opens.  Seems like the door has been closed on this blog, and most of the other Twolia blogs.  Those of us that have been writing for Twolia for awhile are pretty bummed out.  It was a good gig and it was fun to be a part of [...]
    • If You Want My Body, And You Think I’m Sexy, Come On Baby Let Me Know
      Oh, mom, you’re so special… Yesterday I took the day off of work to head up to New York with some friends for the day. Nothing quite like playing hookey from work in the middle of the week to take a road trip. While I was there I got a voicemail message from my sister: Here [...]
    • You Know Who Is Awesome? Me. You Know Who Is Not? Claude.
      First of all, what the hell is up with this tiny font?  Seriously, WTF.  Stupid Mondays, I blame it on you. Second, this morning I received some super awesome news: one of my photographs is being used by BBC News on their UK site.  The only thing that super stinks is that the page is only [...]
    • A Kiss is Still a Kiss
      This happened 2 years ago yesterday, but it still brings a smile to my face.  Yeah, he turned out to be a total douche bag from hell, but whatever.  What makes him a douche bag from hell?  Easy: He was dating someone when we knocked boots over the summer - though he claimed that he was still single. The [...]

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Ah, The Joys of Womanhood

The wonderful monthly reminder that my womb is barren because I haven’t gotten laid in forever and a day. 
There are 3 things that I’d like to do right about now.

Hurl
Crawl into bed
Die

Though not necessarily in that order. 
I have the world’s worst cramps right now.  The super part is that in addition to being in an [...]